You Need a Break

Everyone is just mean an insensitive...

People are mean,

Sales is hard,

Space is cold,

The universe is empty and devolving due to entropy...

So don't work too hard.

Don't let anyone be mean to you.

Take time for yourself.

Protect your mental health.

Never let your heart get above 60.

Go in late.

Take long lunches.

Leave early.

Those customers can wait.

They'll call back when they realize what a huge mistake they've made.

You're the best.

You sell the best.

You deserve to be treated like royalty.

Don't even call those mean prospects back until they apologize...

With a bottle of Pappy Van Winkle...

And a nice floral bouquet for the office to see...

And chocolates...

But no cheese and crackers, because of gluten and dairy allergies at the office.

Always been mindful of others...

Even though they're not even half as good as you.

Your work today is done, Your Highness.

Pick up a nice Pinot on the way home and binge on Sex and the City.

You've earned it.

As the Wimpy Salesman has spoken, so shall it be.