Donate to me...I deserve it

Don't ask. Don't question. Don't be greedy. Just gimmee.

Listen, I've given this whole salesman-entrepreneur-corporate schmuck thing the old college try, and it's just not working out.

It's not me, it's the market...it's the industry...it's the global macro micro economics of it all..it's the Federal Reserve, which is neither federal nor a reserve, but I digress...it's the lack of Feng Shui (and sushi) in my office...it's my boss, who just doesn't understand the fragility of an empath like me...it's 5G radiation...it's the office kitchen microwave radiation...it's my bluetooth's headset radiation...it's just all combining to not be for me...

With that being said, I'm declaring myself retired...but there's one little catch...a tiny snag...a bit of a hindrance to me making my retirement official...

I need money.

So I set up this GoFundMe account.

You're one of the lucky ones...fortune has smiled upon you...you were not born under a rat year or a monkey's butt or a planetary misalignment or an aurora borealis and the Coriolis effect isn't as strong against you since you're at a different latitude...

SO YOU OWE IT TO ME TO DONATE TO MY RETIREMENT!!!

I apologize. I didn't mean to yell at you. You just need to understand the pressure and emotional strain I'm under.

But how could you? Look at you with your degrees and certifications and Herman Miller Aeron chair and stress ball and standing desk and dual monitors and white noise sound machine and organic green tea and Bitcoin account...

You throw away more down your garbage disposal in a day than I spend on groceries in a week!!!!

SO DONATE TO MY RETIREMENT!!! NOW!!!!

Now, excuse me while I consult my ChatGPT therapist.

I just can't with you and your greed and your condescending reading of my posts any longer today.

Market like you mean it.

Now go sell something.