Control Every Room You Enter
Only alpha sales wimps can make this happen
I have bad news fer ya: Only alpha sales wimps can be like this.
I have good news fer ya: I've launched a paid waiting list to learn how to be 10% as good as me.
But even if you're 1% as good as me, you'll be 11X better than everyone else, except me of course, since I'm the Alpha of all Males (and females for that matter, but I'm not a biologist, but I'm always right, so I'm pretty sure I'm right again).
Anyway, you're weak.
Your prospects ghost ya.
Your prospects want you to "sharpen your pencil."
Your clients don't renew.
Your clients don't give you referrals.
Your clients don't give you testimonials.
Your peers don't respect you.
Your dog doesn't respect you.
Your barista doesn't respect you... well, if you had one, but you're broke as a joke and can't afford one.
Which is why you need to pay to get on my waiting list for the launch of my LionKingWarriorZenithAlphaWarCubicleDen.
Just paying for it will boost your testosterone 11X.
Just paying for it will get you an extra 11 miles per gallon in your Prius.
Just paying for it will turn traffic lights green, turn your coworkers green with envy, and put more green (potentially—the FTC makes me say that because they are also green with envy of me) into your pocket.
Just paying for it will make you 11% taller.
Just paying for it will lower your cholesterol 11X.
In other words, just pay me.
Nothing more needs to be done.
I may or may not give you anything for this payment, but if you just follow my instructions, you'll own every room you enter and they'll know you're a sycophant of mine, which will make you fabulously rich and famous.
Market like you mean it.
Now go sell something.
