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Prime The Prospect's Mind To Make Every Sale With Paul Ross

Use this simple, proven phrases to get your prospects to pay attention and buy

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Hypnotic Sales Tips you'll learn today on The Sales Podcast...


  • Paul Ross is an author, speaker, trainer, Master Hypnotist, and Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). For the past 30 years, he’s taught tens of thousands of people the power of language to persuade, sell, heal, turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones, and pain into passion. Paul’s speeches and trainings have motivated audiences around the world to discover their power to design their own results.
  • What is the ONE thing you are actually always selling, no matter what your industry or business?
  • What are the 4 words you can use in the first minute of your sales presentation to create immediate, unbreakable rapport and trust?
  • What is the first thing about your prospect you must focus on and take into consideration if you want to skyrocket your sales?
  • What are “counterexamples” and how can you use them to easily destroy almost any objection?
  • How do traditional, common teachings about mindset actually get in the way of your progress?

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  • Let's get out of your conceptual zone
  • Sold candy bars at 9 years old
His mom told him, 'Most people are stupid...do the opposite of what most do.'"
  • Get people's attention
  • "Hey, I'm here to sell you something."
  • Nail them down with consistency and commitment
  • A sale is a date and a date is a sale
  • Rapport, qualifying questions, presentation, go for the close
  • Began applying his pick up artist training to sales training
  • Be honest and leverage pattern interrupts
  • Treat them with respect
  • There are no cold calls, they are "opportunity outreach."
  • Metaphors create a canopy of consciousness that impact our beliefs and actions
It's time to joyously make powerful opportunity outreach calls."
  • Prospects object on autopilot
  • "Why would I delay your opportunity to learn about something you could really benefit from?"
  • A sale delayed is a sale denied
  • The smartphone is the #1 obstacle to sales
  • "May I ask you a question? 
  • Your opening buys you five minutes
  • You don't have a lot of time to bond
  • People are too distracted to pay attention
  • Dumbed-down yet more sophisticated
  • They know the old cliches because they get pitched so often
  • "What state of mind do you want your prospect to be in so they receive your message?"
  • Your pitch is the electricity so how do we make the prospect's mind conductive?
  • Get them focused, wanting, buying into the notion that we are leading them (subconsciously), and open to new ideas and concepts
  • How do we create those states?
  • Selling decisions and good feelings about decisions
    • People don't trust their own abilities to make decisions
  • Prospects need to capture and lead their imagination
  • Implied relationship words
  • We, together, explore, invite, share
    • "Before we explore this (solution) together today, I just want to invite you to please share the questions that naturally arise when a great decision is being made."
    • Leaders are needed for explorations
  • Three words to put in front of any limiting belief: "up until now"
    • "Up until now, I've been bad a cold calls."
    • "Up until now, I haven't been able to hit my quota."
    • Our crappy learning strategy is what holds us back
    • We program our mistakes back in
    • You need to learn from your mistakes...but how?
    • You're in a car and break down in the desert and you call the mechanic who says do this, that, and the other and hangs up!
    • You need to move up the learning curve
    • If the process of self-improvement has felt like a struggle, here's how that takes place...
    • The solution is 
  • Priming the mind for effective behavior and results
    • Showed students positive and negative words
    • The positive students were 80% more 

Links Mentioned In The Sales Podcast


Wes Schaeffer: Paul Ross. The man, the myth, the legend, author of subtle words.

Wes Schaeffer: That sell

Wes Schaeffer: With these cats. This may be a

Wes Schaeffer: First to catch in the interview away from San Diego. Welcome to the sales podcast. How the heck are you

Paul Ross: I'm doing great. My super predator advisors are here this morning. This is my big girl Priscilla Jones Mila and my little baby cat NACA is

Paul Ross: On downstairs of the lower level, the cat tree. She'll jump up at some point cause some trouble but they helped me out here comes NACA if they get to be too big of trouble. I'll lock them out but they like to

Paul Ross: Know, here's my big girl vanilla. Vanilla honey.

Wes Schaeffer: Hey, look.

Wes Schaeffer: It anyone with cats and names like that, you're either totally crazy

Wes Schaeffer: Or totally confident, or both. So anyway, this is gonna be a good interview.

Paul Ross: Try both

Paul Ross: And can I curse, a little bit on your show.

Paul Ross: Your. Some people think I'm bat shit crazy, but I just take that as meaning my ideas can be so original. And so outside the box and things that are not, this is not stuff you can grab from off the shelf.

Paul Ross: And it's not just little incremental tips on how you can do better. This is a revolutionary new way of looking at the whole meaning of what selling is

Paul Ross: Right. And also it's going to take you today not outside of your comfort zone.

Paul Ross: But outside of your conceptual zone. I'm going to change the entire way you think about selling and do it in 30 to 45 minutes. That's a pretty tall claim.

Paul Ross: But I'm a damn good teacher and a really good interview. All right, give me America. She's, she's been a pain in the ass and we'd stop recording

Wes Schaeffer: Yeah. Was it stop the recording.

Wes Schaeffer: So you just proved that dogs have owners.

Wes Schaeffer: And cats have servants.


Wes Schaeffer: There was a show the dog whisperer. Right, which is how I

Wes Schaeffer: Got remember it was whisper, but I've yet to see a cat whisperer. So even the mighty Paul Ross.

Wes Schaeffer: Is not a cat whisperer. So at least

Paul Ross: That's why I keep them around to remind me to keep my ego in check.

Wes Schaeffer: So you've done a lot of stuff, author, speaker, trainer master hypnotist NLP master practitioner.

Wes Schaeffer: So, but what's, what's your sales background, why the hell should we even listen to you. Who gave you

Name, you

Paul Ross: Just sales stuff 30 to 45 minutes best interview ever out of my conceptual zone. Come on.

Come on, let's go.

Paul Ross: Well, I love it. Man, I love them already engaged to the and that's great. I've seen my background is not from traditional selling although that's not true. I started selling when I was nine years old I sold candy bars to raise money for the school.

Paul Ross: Down approach.

Paul Ross: Well, I took a different approach. My mother when I was very young sat me on me and said, Son, most people are stupid if they're doing one thing you figure out something completely different to do

Paul Ross: And I took her advice to heart. So when I was nine years old, they gave us the candy bars and said, Just knock on the doors and say, would you like to buy a candy bar.

Paul Ross: And my mom said that sucks come up with something different that totally shocks people and then you'll get their attention long enough to sell them.

Paul Ross: And I listened to my mom, she's great influence on me. So

Paul Ross: I would knock on the door they answer door. I said, Hi, I'm here to sell you something which is a shock people are expecting it hold up the candy bar and say it tastes great and you'll feel good while you eat it because you know you're helping out the entire neighborhood and the school.

Paul Ross: Now that got their attention. Big time. I nailed them down with consistency and with commitment, all in the space of one sentence.

Paul Ross: So I started selling I sold I've sold millions of dollars of my own courses online and more importantly I sold lonely.

Paul Ross: 3040 Year Old Virgin men on the notion that they could actually get pastor fear and get pastor depression their shame and learn how to date, because ultimately a sale is a date and the date is a sale.

Paul Ross: Think about it. You've got to do your prospect outreach. You've got to create rapport. You've got to do your qualifying questions.

Paul Ross: You've got to structure your sales presentation. You've got to go for the clothes and then you have to handle objections.

Paul Ross: So essentially, they're the same. What happened is, in the course of that career. I would have guys sending me emails with pictures of their wives and their kids and they'd say, you know,

Paul Ross: I've read all your stuff. I've got all your video courses and such. I haven't been to your seminars. Thank you very much. I found the ideal girlfriend. I got married or whatever it is.

Paul Ross: And I've been using your stuff for selling and it really works. And this is about 15 years ago and I thought

Paul Ross: Well damn, that's interesting. I've been doing it myself. Anyway, but not with a structure to it. I just did it instinctively because I know hypnotic language. I know neuro linguistic programming.

Paul Ross: So I thought, let's get into my laboratory and start testing this and I began to test it. And I came up with various

Paul Ross: Versions of my initial course on selling. And then I started coaching people and training people and museum myself. And that's the basic background. So I hope that answers your question. But I love that question. Who the hell am I and why the f should people listen to me.

Wes Schaeffer: Well, I want to go back to just your opening line SELLING CANDY BARS because one of the scripts that I teach people

Wes Schaeffer: In sales training because up

Wes Schaeffer: You know,

Wes Schaeffer: prospecting is

Wes Schaeffer: It's hard for most people. Right. And

Wes Schaeffer: And cold calling and in today's day and age, you really shouldn't have to make a whole nother purely cold call right there. You can you can do three minutes of research and have an icebreaker with anybody.

Wes Schaeffer: But I would tell them just to get started right look pick up the phone and say, Hey Paul

Wes Schaeffer: This is a sales call, you know, Paul. This is a cold call me. I take 20 seconds of your time tell you why I'm calling you decide if we ever speak again.

Paul Ross: Exactly honest and it's complete what I call pattern interrupt and hopefully we'll get around to discussing patter ups later on as you continue to learn from the Indus fascinating interview and

Paul Ross: But what you did there is a pattern interrupt you did something completely different from what they were expecting the pattern that everyone else has signed at them.

Paul Ross: And you got their attention, very quickly and created report by treating them with enough respect, to be honest with them a few. By the way, if I can interject.

Paul Ross: I don't believe there is such a thing as a cold call I teach my clients, you're never doing cold calling you're doing opportunity outreach.

Paul Ross: Now that may seem like a little bit of a joke. But in reality, that little semantic twist is powerful because when you say I'm going to make a cold call

Paul Ross: Is there literally a sheet of ice between you and that potential client is your hand really freezing. It's a terrible metaphor metaphor. It's create a canopy of consciousness, under which all our other thinking all the other beliefs and

Paul Ross: Ideas and behaviors are structured. But if I say a cold call who does that imply has the value in the interaction.

Paul Ross: implies the prospect. But if I say this is my opportunity outreach.

Paul Ross: Who does that imply has the value

Paul Ross: Know, so you're never you're not begging for change.

Paul Ross: You're creating opportunity frames and that reframe really. Now, what if you added in an adjective. What about if you said, it's time to joyously make my my fun opportunity out reaches

Paul Ross: Or it's time to powerfully make my joyous opportunity outreach is at first. You may think that sounds strange, but remember I told you.

Paul Ross: I'm going to take you outside of your conceptual zone and show you a different way to think

Paul Ross: So adverbs and adjectives. You think, Wait a minute, this is what I had to do in grammar school outlines sentences circle the subject the object I can make a confession to us that stuff used to give me a little baby little

Paul Ross: Step used to arouse me. I love grammar but grammar and language is powerful.

Paul Ross: Words are powerful.

Wes Schaeffer: Amen.

Wes Schaeffer: You know, I grew up in Louisiana originally in English wasn't elective but you know, I still got through it. Here we are.

Paul Ross: You'd be fun to hang out with

Paul Ross: We were talking before the show started, how you headed up the Air Force UFO secret project department.

Wes Schaeffer: Oh, now I have to delete that man.

Wes Schaeffer: make all this work for me all this editing.

Wes Schaeffer: And you know I love you know what you're saying there because it's it's a small change, but I always say small hinges swing big doors.

Paul Ross: You know,

Paul Ross: I love that. I'm gonna steal that.

Wes Schaeffer: Sure, I didn't make it up.

Wes Schaeffer: But it's

Wes Schaeffer: I tell my clients right when

Wes Schaeffer: You say you and I are talking and you do give me a couple minutes or say, You know what, I'm busy right now, you know, give me a call later.

Wes Schaeffer: And most people just accept that and and then just put follow up, you know, Paul Ross, you know, Friday.

Wes Schaeffer: 10am follow up, but I'm like, take an extra second and go hey, I understand. No problem. When would be better for you later this week or early next week you know later this week. There's a Friday.

Wes Schaeffer: Make it Friday morning or afternoon afternoon, like right after lunch, a little bit later. I mean, all day so

Wes Schaeffer: One o'clock one o'clock, fine. Okay, thanks. Have a good day.

Wes Schaeffer: We hang up and I'm going to send you an email, right. Hey, thanks for your time look forward to a 71 o'clock. Alright, so when I call at one because one of my tag lines. Always use it. Life is too short for follow up calls

Paul Ross: Oh damn straight

Wes Schaeffer: You know by the everybody says the money is in the follow up.

Wes Schaeffer: But and some will say this is semantics. But when I call it one o'clock and your assistant says, is he expecting your call. And I say, Yes, I'm calling for one o'clock appointment.

Wes Schaeffer: To me, that's not a follow up call. Now it may have been a brush off right you, you may have just fully intended, just to get me off the phone move on the next thing didn't think I would follow through with it. But in my mind.

Wes Schaeffer: You set an appointment with me.

Wes Schaeffer: And you know deep down, even if you kind of forgot. But way back in your brain, you know, oh hell I did say something I did get that email.

Wes Schaeffer: All right, and you, you probably aren't ready I get sent to your voicemail.

Wes Schaeffer: But now I start to have that the moral authority right that moral framework, you still may not do business with me, but I'm slowly going to chip away at that so

Paul Ross: Can I offer a completely radically different way to handle that.

Paul Ross: Sure. So my belief is that when prospects object or throat objections that usually on autopilot.

Paul Ross: And they really don't know why they're objecting. Sure. So I would say something like, I understand what you're saying. You know, I understand completely what you're saying.

Paul Ross: And it's, I do have to however say it's like something I said to a client, the other day. Why would I delay your opportunity to learn more about something you could really move you could really benefit from

Paul Ross: Why would I delay your opportunity to learn about something you could really benefit from

Paul Ross: Doesn't it make it just a little more sense to spend just a minute to talk about it right here and now. Now, they may tell you, F off.

Paul Ross: Or they may think, well, wait a minute, this guy's not buying into my normal stall. Okay, give me a hearing

Paul Ross: Half the time they're going to tell you to F off. But the other half the time, they'll give you the here and now, and I believe a sale delayed.

Paul Ross: Usually is a sale denied. I know they say you have to make seven contact touches before you get a sale.

Paul Ross: Nowadays you don't have that kind of time because people will have weight that may have worked back from the 70s and the 80s and even the 90s, but here we are with so many distractions, your number one enemy to a sale. It's not your competition.

Paul Ross: It's this thing.

Paul Ross: Because this is device to which we get our Twitter or Instagram or Facebook instant messages, our texts, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So I don't think you have the opportunity nowadays to make seven touches. You've got to figure out a way to season, get them continuing to talk to you.

Paul Ross: If you can

Wes Schaeffer: Yeah, how, how do you view.

Wes Schaeffer: All the other modes of communication. So I tell people, same thing, a multimedia multi step. It's like dating, you know, you don't just

Wes Schaeffer: Stalk her

Wes Schaeffer: Maybe you know obviously if there's some rapport. Maybe you you know the the the cute barista at Starbucks. You know, you take your receipt you turn it over, you write a little

Wes Schaeffer: Note and hand it back to her when you saw I

Paul Ross: Never do that. I would never do that well.

Wes Schaeffer: I'm just don't out

Analogies but

Wes Schaeffer: You know,

Wes Schaeffer: Once there's some rapport, you know one another. Maybe leave a little notes to get in her windshield.

Wes Schaeffer: Maybe you know at school you. No problem. You know prompts coming up, you know, she likes flowers you to fly you know she likes chocolate, chocolate, you stop by our house and you

Wes Schaeffer: Bring or something. Right. But it's a

Wes Schaeffer: Multiple multimedia multi step. So from a dating standpoint you you by spending time you show your interest, but the same thing in sales, if, if I can find you on LinkedIn. I can agree on LinkedIn, right, all

Wes Schaeffer: Right. Fine.

Paul Ross: That's fine. I have no I have no problem with that is you're dating advice sucks but

Paul Ross: Well, yeah.

Wes Schaeffer: I've been out of practice.

Paul Ross: Yeah, well good. No, I agree with that. I simply think if you use the analogy of dating. If you and meeting someone you don't have time to get to know people anymore.

Paul Ross: I'm not saying I don't want to get into the controversy of how quickly if you get intimate, but you don't have the time you used to have people are too distracted. They're running in place. They're racing as hard as they can just stay in place, particularly nowadays with the epidemic.

Paul Ross: So you need to get attention right away, my, my typical is to can ask you a question. Do you do some kind of spiritual disciplines and let them answer. I'll say, because you just seem like someone who really knows who they are and who is in love with life. It's a very rare combination

Paul Ross: Now that is such a rare compliment. They never heard that before. So that's botany, that little 30 seconds is bought me the next five minutes and then next five minutes buys me the next 10 and then x but 10 buys me the next 20 and now I'm way ahead of the game as opposed to

Paul Ross: Two dates or three days or four days. But now we're straight into my dating coaching, which I really don't want to do

Paul Ross: The major point that analogy between dating and sales and the rest of it is we don't. The world has changed the world has been tilted on it access and turn inside out.

Paul Ross: People don't have the attention span. They used to have, even if they are interested in your product or would be interested in your product, they're just too distracted to pay attention. People have the attention span of a goldfish.

Paul Ross: They're overwhelmed.

Paul Ross: They're overstimulated they're dumb down and numbed out but they're also paradoxically more sophisticated. I want to talk about that that paradox. They're both dumb down because of all the media.

Paul Ross: But they're also sophisticated because they get so many sales pitches, they know

Paul Ross: The old cliches, they're coming at them they can see him from a mile away the Tag questions, you find isn't it important that you invest in yourself, Mr. Smith, don't you agree, yes. The yes ladders.

Paul Ross: They seen it all. And so they just sneer at it and and feel insulted. So you got to do something radically different.

Wes Schaeffer: So, so what is radically different today.

Wes Schaeffer: Because I'm saying but yeah you

Wes Schaeffer: They are more distracted. They are dumbed down. They are overstimulated they are overextended, they are overwhelmed. They are tired they are

Wes Schaeffer: You know the

Wes Schaeffer: Red Bull and in double espressos to wake up you know marijuana and alcohol to go to sleep. I mean, on and on and on, you know, but at their core. I mean, we're still humans.

Wes Schaeffer: Once you get someone's attention like that's a great them, ask your question, I assume, like you get your act together by blah.

Wes Schaeffer: Once you do break through and have their attention aren't people still at their core their yearning for that.

Wes Schaeffer: Differentiation to be noticed to have an honest and open

Paul Ross: Conversations. Yes, yes. And don't assume they're ready to have that with you.

Paul Ross: Let me, let me give you a radical is radically different.

Paul Ross: The question. There's a question that every salesperson should ask themselves before they go into any sales presentation.

Paul Ross: Which is what state of mind what state of consciousness. Do you want that prospect to be in. So they receive your message through it. Let me give you a metaphor it to clear this up a little bit.

Paul Ross: And this is not a trick question. This is for real question. Let's say we have a current of electricity.

Paul Ross: And we have a sheet of gold foil and we have a sheet of cardboard and we want to conduct at current electricity which of those two is going to conduct the electricity. The gold foil or the cardboard.

Paul Ross: Gold. Gold. Exactly. So think of your electricity is being your sales pitch. What you want to

Wes Schaeffer: Sell and the

Paul Ross: Foil as being the state of mind at the prospect.

Paul Ross: So how are we going to make that prospect conductive so they receive the electricity of our sales pitch. How do we create those different cells states of mind.

Paul Ross: What states of mind. Do we want to create. How about a state of being.

Paul Ross: Focused on us. How about a state of wanting to believe in what we have to say, how about a state of on the unconscious level buying into the notion

Paul Ross: That we are actually leading them and that they are willing eager followers. How about a state of being open to new possibilities.

Paul Ross: So ideas selling as being yes you can have your standard sales process and nothing I'm teaching today.

Paul Ross: Is designed to replace your standard sales process. It's designed to be overlaid to be injected to be interjected in it to turbo charging. So how can we create those states, how can we create the state in the prospects mind before we even really get going.

Paul Ross: Where they want to believe in us where they want to follow us where they feel like we already have a connection. And there's a way to do it that I'd like to share

Wes Schaeffer: If I'm all yours. Okay, good notes.

Paul Ross: Okay, so

Paul Ross: I talked about what I call implied relationship words. Let me give you a

Paul Ross: Let me give you a couple of rules before we go any further, rule number one, you're never selling a product or service you're always selling decisions and good feelings about decisions.

Paul Ross: You can think of yourself as a decision service technician and nowadays people don't know how to trust their ability to make good decisions.

Paul Ross: So it's not enough to get them to trust you. You have to get them to trust themselves. That's rule number one.

Paul Ross: Rule number two, whatever you can get your prospect to imagine for themselves will be perceived by them as being their own thought and therefore they will not resist it.

Paul Ross: So capture and lead their imagination and their subconscious thought process. First, those are the two rules. I want to lay out. So here's how we create that state of feeling like they already have a relationship with you. They want to follow you use these words we

Paul Ross: Together explore invite and share we explored together invite and share it sounds something like this before we explore this marketing plan together today. I just want to invite you to please share the questions that naturally arise when a great decisions being made.

Paul Ross: Now let's talk about that before we explore what is we imply when I use the word we, what does it imply

Paul Ross: That we're

Wes Schaeffer: On the center. Yeah.

Paul Ross: Before we

Paul Ross: Explore what is explore imply again where it's a shared activity and for every exploration, there must be a leader and every leader implies a what

Paul Ross: Follower exactly before we

Paul Ross: Before we explore

Paul Ross: This marketing plan or this opportunity together.

Paul Ross: There again, we now we have the word together that's obviously implies relationship before we explore this marketing plan together today. I just want to invite you

Paul Ross: Not ask you, but invite you invitation has a different implied meaning then ask, I just want to invite you to please share the questions not ask the questions but share the questions.

Paul Ross: Do we share with people who we don't really trust.

Paul Ross: I just want to invite you to please share the questions that naturally arise when a great decisions being made now. Did I say a great decision to buy from me today is being made.


Paul Ross: Why didn't I say a great decision to buy from me today is being made.

Paul Ross: It's just too. It's too direct it's too pushy, but when I leave it vague, then they'll fill in the blank for themselves a great decision is being made.

Paul Ross: And the unconscious mind says, oh, a great decisions being made. I feel like I want to follow this person based on the previous suggestions, therefore I'm going to decide to go with this person.

Paul Ross: This is all being implied on the subconscious level.

Paul Ross: Before you even go get into the substance of what what it is you're selling. Does that make sense. Now I know this sounds bizarre.

Paul Ross: The sounds completely unique and outside the box. But I did warn you, or give you the caveat, or introduce the idea that this is going to be completely different and

Paul Ross: I'll challenge your audience. It's the very ways of thinking, feeling

Paul Ross: And acting that stands so far outside of what we're used to doing to hold the potential for bringing us results that are so far beyond what we're used to enjoy.

Paul Ross: So get excited about the possibility that

Paul Ross: Because this may seem so foreign that's the very reason why you want to continue to explore it.

Paul Ross: Now, because it is so different.

Wes Schaeffer: Yeah, but look, Paul that may work in the dating world with some little bimbo but luck. I'm a professional I sell beat a BSL at the C suite level. And you know what scripts.

Wes Schaeffer: They're just too restrictive. I go with the flow. You know, I just, it feels too cold, so I'm not following this whole script thing.

Paul Ross: You may. It may feel cold. At first, I get it.

Paul Ross: But after a while doing it becomes second nature. You can't on some level, not have a script, because even if you think you're being genuine your genuineness is based on all your other experiences of being genuine. So in a sense, that's a script to

Paul Ross: Does that make sense.

Wes Schaeffer: Yeah, people don't realize how much we are

Wes Schaeffer: Brainwashed right we're programmed

Paul Ross: I think we're 99% of the time.

Paul Ross: People are walking around on autopilot we, I can tell you this as a hypnotist

Paul Ross: 10% of our decision making. This is a metaphor I can't actually measure units of decision making, but 10 15% of our decision making process is made like the iceberg. The part that shows above the water but 80% of it is made on the subconscious level.

Paul Ross: beneath our conscious awareness. We don't make decisions rationally, for the most part. There's a great book with science behind it.

Paul Ross: I don't have science behind this. I just have the observational results of all my clients and my own in my own selling process. There's a book called predictably irrational by a guy. Have you read the book.

Paul Ross: It's fantastic. It's a fantastic book.

Paul Ross: And in your area. I rarely AR

Paul Ross: I E Li, I highly recommend that book and he talks about how people make decisions for irrational reasons and on there's another one called priming by he's a East Indian

Paul Ross: SEC PhD and he talks about experiments they do it in different universities with something called priming.

Paul Ross: But there is science behind it. I, I don't claim to be a scientist. I don't claim that what I'm doing is scientific it's only a map.

Paul Ross: It's only a model, it's subject to challenge, it's subject to change.

Paul Ross: It's incomplete and it has some error in it. And I will tell you that thousands of my clients have gotten these results. I've gotten them.

Paul Ross: And the best results. The best proof. Are your own results. That's why I offer a complete training course it's completely free.

Paul Ross: The reason I make it free is. This is so crazy. And so bizarre. There's no reason for a person to stop and trust is something you want to put money into until you see your own results.

Paul Ross: Watch. Get, get the free stuff don't pay me a penny. Use it incorporate it when you see results, then come back to me.

Wes Schaeffer: Right. Cool.

Wes Schaeffer: Yeah, people. You know, it's funny, they

Wes Schaeffer: Know that the devil, you know, is better than DEVIL, YOU DON'T KNOW. Right. It's like I tell people look at golf.

Wes Schaeffer: You know you're you've got an issue right you're you're slicing. You can't hit your

Wes Schaeffer: Driver off the bus you slice slice slice you could pay hundreds of dollars go take all these lessons.

Wes Schaeffer: You cure your slice on the driving range, but when

Wes Schaeffer: You know you're betting 37 cents.

Wes Schaeffer: With your buddies pressure mounts and you go back to what you know and you slice it.

Wes Schaeffer: Rather than just own the new better way. You know why. Why are, why are we so hung hung up on the past.

Paul Ross: Because I don't care about what I care about how

Paul Ross: I care about the structure of how people do it. So when I used to do live seminars when my dating coaching guys would come to me and say, I'm I'm

Paul Ross: Just a failure with pretty women and I would give them three words to put in front of that limiting belief and I'm going to share kind of give your audience a bonus today because I'm really enjoying this conversation with you.

Paul Ross: I usually only share this with my VIP clients, this will change, but I'm going to share it and it's three words that you can put in front of any limiting negative belief.

Paul Ross: And it will change it immediately and those three words are up until now. So, and I had clients come to me and say, I just can't make cold calls, I'll say, how about

Paul Ross: Up until now.

Paul Ross: It was the case that you didn't claim your skill to make your cold calls

Paul Ross: Up until now, see the mind works on repetition familiarity and momentum. So the reason we keep the structure of not the reason the structure of how we keep repeating mistakes is that

Paul Ross: We keep gazing at them. We kept looking at them. We keep playing them over and over and over in our mind, not because we're self sabotage years were losers.

Paul Ross: But simply because it's a crappy learning strategy. Most people listening to this, don't have a confidence issue. They have a crappy learning strategy.

Paul Ross: They program their mistakes back in, not because they're trying to hurt themselves just because no one has ever been taught

Paul Ross: How to learn from their mistakes. This is another thing that differentiates mates. There are tons of great sales courses out of here. I'm not coming here today to put anyone sales courses down. There's a lot of good ones.

Paul Ross: But one thing they're lacking is a methodology for teaching students how to learn from their mistakes as they go up the learning curve any system of selling the UK con is going to have challenges and you're going to make mistakes.

Paul Ross: Now,

Paul Ross: If you don't have a way of learning from those mistakes, you're going to be stuck. You've heard, Wes. I'm sure you've heard that piece of advice. Just learn from every experience. Have you ever heard that or

Paul Ross: Does anyone ever give you an exact method to do that.

Paul Ross: Oh no. So this infuriates me when I hear advice like that and infuriates me. My metaphor is you're in a car.

Paul Ross: You break down in the desert your cell phone is battery is almost dead you call the nearest mechanic and you say my car is not working. What do I do, and the mechanics as well just remove the fragile stat recalibrate the lose it, and

Paul Ross: Multiply your, your carburetor injection system and you'll be fine. Click

Paul Ross: You know you can't do it. So one of the things I teach in my system in my courses and all my trainings or private coaching is is

Paul Ross: How can we efficiently take you up that learning curve because otherwise the process of self improvement. If you've ever felt you, those of you who are listening and are watching today.

Paul Ross: If you've ever felt that the process of progress. The process of self improvement is felt like a struggle, like one party wants to afford and the other is holding you back.

Paul Ross: This is how that takes place not why because I don't care about why I just want to look at the structure of how things work. This is how it takes place.

Paul Ross: And the solution to that is one of the unique things I teach and I had to learn it.

Paul Ross: Because I had some of the most FDIC stuck people in the world guys who are 30 4050 years old who never had a date in their life, and they had so much crap in their head.

Paul Ross: So much dwelling on their mistakes. I had to find a way to break that oh my kitten guide into the room and she's playing with the vitamin pill.

Wes Schaeffer: Look, you never close the door down. You want it them back in this interview.

Paul Ross: I didn't close all the way she pushed it open.

Wes Schaeffer: Yeah, so it's, um,

Wes Schaeffer: Yeah, I mean, how, how we learn. You know,

Wes Schaeffer: I equate everything to jujitsu

Wes Schaeffer: And see that

Paul Ross: I see your Gracie Jiu Jitsu symbol.

Wes Schaeffer: Yeah and you know

Wes Schaeffer: They say, oh, you know, you never fail, you know, you either win or you learn

Wes Schaeffer: And it took me probably 18 months to really internalize that because it's like, man, that's your felt like a failure.

Paul Ross: They should have given you a method to learn rapidly and quickly.

Wes Schaeffer: Oh yeah and and they do, but it's a hard sport and you know when you don't pick it up to your almost 47

Paul Ross: You're a young man.

Wes Schaeffer: Yeah, but it's still I'm fighting 20 year olds and they

Wes Schaeffer: They pick things up quicker they heal quicker.

Wes Schaeffer: Chico chatter lot

Wes Schaeffer: Lot more flexible.

Paul Ross: chat a little jab to the throat when no one's looking hello itself.

Wes Schaeffer: But it, but I think he was actually was yesterday.

Wes Schaeffer: No Saturday, and I was I was rolling with a young guy kind of new guy and and I beat them bigger and more experienced and then

Wes Schaeffer: Then we took a couple minutes. I was showing them one particular thing he was struggling with, and

Wes Schaeffer: And I told him the story. I remember the exact spot in the gym, like what where I was on the floor when I learned that lesson.

Wes Schaeffer: Because I had failed. Right. I was trying to submit a guy from a certain position. It didn't work and and my my elbow was in the wrong place. It never would have worked and the guy, so go from here to here.

Wes Schaeffer: And it's super easy. Right. So it took me a while to realize okay my my inability to submit my training partner, you know, three years ago.

Wes Schaeffer: taught me how to do it properly. From then on, and. And not only that, how to teach it you know more

Wes Schaeffer: Effectively, three years later and five years later, who you know 100 years later, if I live that long. I'll be teaching that same lesson and I'll know the exact spot where I was.

Wes Schaeffer: When I learned it.

Wes Schaeffer: So, you know, there's no failure.

Paul Ross: But it's tough to internalize

Paul Ross: Which but you actually told me something you said you remember the exact spot where you learned it, which tells me you have a highly visual memory.

Paul Ross: And you once you can visit once someone shows you something you have a way of visualizing it from your perspective and kinesthetically programming it into your muscle memory.

Paul Ross: So just from modeling you one of the skill sets from NLP Neuro linguistic programming is the model excellence. So just watching where your eyes went and listened to your language. I know how you learned it.

Paul Ross: So you learned it the master demonstrated it as you watched him. You could visualize yourself doing it and you could feel a little micro movements of your muscles and then you began to practice it as a behavior.

Wes Schaeffer: And that's how you learned it.

Wes Schaeffer: Well, yeah. And well, and I learned by doing right

Wes Schaeffer: Truly trial and error because it was it was taught properly.

Wes Schaeffer: But until you do it. I thought I was doing it properly, but you have to see it, then you have to go do it.

Wes Schaeffer: At least me and then

Wes Schaeffer: Always we always make the joke you know you. You've been watching YouTube.

Paul Ross: You know, you're probably a black

Wes Schaeffer: All the YouTube

Wes Schaeffer: You've watched, you know, same thing with your, with your guys with dating, they, they can be super confident in the training room. Okay, fellas. We're in the bar. Hey,

Paul Ross: Absolutely. You like

Paul Ross: redheads.

Wes Schaeffer: There she is.

Paul Ross: Absolutely true. Absolutely true. Go.

Wes Schaeffer: Go, go, go.

Wes Schaeffer: Right. Go fail.

Wes Schaeffer: Apps, right. Go Go stumble mutter letter reject you come back, everybody is going to watch. We're going to give you a drink. You're still alive.

Wes Schaeffer: You got would again.

Paul Ross: Yeah, absolutely true.

Wes Schaeffer: Right, so

Wes Schaeffer: I had to be taught.

Wes Schaeffer: realized I didn't completely learn it. Then it sunk in.

Paul Ross: Absolutely true. And what I'm saying is, that's totally true. The. I love the metaphor of jujitsu I like the metaphor of martial arts to even though I can't fight. I have to fall back on my buddies. I have two buddies who are always with me to help me fight so

Wes Schaeffer: Because you're, you're a lover, not a fighter.

Paul Ross: Know I have Mr. Smith and Wesson.

Wes Schaeffer: I understand.

Paul Ross: I don't carry him. I'm a law abiding citizen. I'm just saying.

Wes Schaeffer: I may or may not carry him but you know this. It's called me be recorded, so I don't want to delete that either.

Paul Ross: Yeah, okay.

Wes Schaeffer: So I looked up priming. Is it programming the mind for habit.

Wes Schaeffer: Change and success.

Wes Schaeffer: Clifton Mitchell.

Paul Ross: No priming here. So here's priming prime is a psychological principle that we make our decisions on the subconscious OF ALL I'M GOING TO MANGLE, the description, the experiments.

Paul Ross: But here's the experiments at several universities that they took students and one group of students, they showed

Paul Ross: imagery of smiling, happy people have people help each other and they showed words. The words were like help useful altruism, blah, blah, blah. The other students. They show them words like selfish.

Paul Ross: self absorbed, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And so when the students went out in the hallway, they had a Confederate. This was a person who is in on the

Paul Ross: On the thing drop their books and the students who had seen the words for it being helpful and selfless and altruism.

Paul Ross: Were 80% more likely to help that person, pick the books up than the people who saw the words for selfishness. So somehow that prime their behavioral response they made the association on the subconscious level.

Paul Ross: These experiments were repeated over and over and over again. So if you go to Wikipedia and you type in priming that's more likely to give you the results.

Wes Schaeffer: Gotcha. Yeah, I thought you would say there was a book titled that

Paul Ross: No, no, no.

Wes Schaeffer: Okay, I got you.

Wes Schaeffer: Very cool. So you've got I'm linking to your book and then is it at that site where they can get the course.

Paul Ross: I have my rapid sales accelerator training. It is the first four chapters of my book on mindset I have an audio training and it's about 2025 minutes long.

Paul Ross: And I made it that short length because that's the length, the average commute. I did that before the pandemic, but it's the average attention span and then I have a special White Paper.

Paul Ross: On a PDF report on how to use pattern interrupts how to destroy objections through the principal and power pattern interrupts

Paul Ross: Put it all together. It's for free at Paul Ross book calm that's Paul Ross book. COM. The reason I'm I pack in so much value and I don't charge a penny is, as I said, these methods are so far off the wall.

Paul Ross: Your best guarantee of results are your own results. So go out, try this stuff. Forget about sending me a penny. Go see how it radically changes your own sales process and then come back to me.

Wes Schaeffer: Right, I'll take you up on that.

Paul Ross: Fair enough.

Wes Schaeffer: Can do. So yeah, I'm linking to your LinkedIn your homepage book this training.

Wes Schaeffer: Did we miss anything.

Paul Ross: I think we covered everything we were going to get into the UFO conspiracy and everything, you know, being an Air Force for air force officer, but

Wes Schaeffer: I don't know if they're ready. I, I say we put a little bonus. He might have completes the program, they send us the magic code.

Wes Schaeffer: be invited to the private group where

Paul Ross: The top secret session that reveals

Paul Ross: Everything. Yes. One of the know

Paul Ross: Yeah, I think that makes sense to me.

Wes Schaeffer: All right, that's what we'll do.

Wes Schaeffer: Very nice. Will you come wine tasting in Temecula, let me know.

Paul Ross: You know what, I may just take you up on that.

Wes Schaeffer: We are members. You can drink for free. I mean,

Paul Ross: I'm just saying, I'm more a caffeine person. But hey, little wine never hurt you.

Wes Schaeffer: That's right.

Wes Schaeffer: That's right. Well, all right, Paul Ross San Diego, man. It's been fantastic. Thanks for coming on the show.

Paul Ross: Hey, it was a big commute, but I don't mind it was a fantastic time

Wes Schaeffer: I'm worth it, baby. I'm where you are worth it.

Wes Schaeffer: All right. Have a great day.