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If Honesty Is The Best Policy...Why Do You Keep Lying?

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A couple of days ago in part 2 of my how to build word-of-mouth marketing series I alluded to the fibs, fabrications, and outright lies we all tell ourselves.

In that post I described "Imposter Syndrome," which is a component of the big lies we tell ourselves as part of the overarching issue of self-deception.

Imposter Syndrome is where you think you're not worthy of big money, praise, applause, or anything else that may remind you that You...Are...Exceptional.

Overcoming this imposter syndrome on your own is tough.

Heck, learning anything on your own is tougher than having a professional help you remove your blinders so you can more clearly see your obstacles, which enables you to overcome them and achieve your goals.

But if you're stubborn, low on funds, or too embarrassed to apply for professional help, here's how you can begin to end your own self-deception.

Form Follows Function

When I was in my early 20's I took a lot of golf lessons because when I jump into anything new...I go all in!

One of the golf pros I hired gave me some great insight for self-diagnosing my swing, which as based on form—or lack thereof—after I hit the ball.

(Harvey Penick called it "form follows function" in his legendary golf book, "Harvey Penick's Little Red Book: Lessons And Teachings From A Lifetime In Golf."


Because the only thing more frustrating than hitting a bad shot...is hitting the same bad shot over...and over...and over...and over...and over...and STILL having no idea how to correct it. 

That's where I learned that both the form of the ball's flight and the form of my body after the swing told me everything I needed to know about how I was swinging the club.

He taught me how to analyze my hands for:

  • pain in my hands—gripping the club too hard.
  • hot spots—gripping the club incorrectly and/or adjusting my hands during the swing.
  • blisters—all of the above for a prolonged period of time.

He taught me how to analyze my follow through to see if I was finishing low or high.

He taught me how to analyze my balance, because falling forward or backward created a definitive ball flight.

He taught me how to analyze the grass to see the divot I took and if it was deep or at an angle or even non-existent.

He taught me how to analyze the club face to see where I was striking the ball.

And it helped.

A lot.

(Along with hours and hours of practice.)

Even though I didn't start golfing until I was 23 years old I was able to break 80—which few ever do in their entire lives—by 27.

"Oh yeah? Big deal." you might be thinking.

Keep in mind I was on active duty in the Air Force during this time and was stationed literally around the world, relocated three times, and was deployed twice to the Middle East.

Oh yeah, I also got married—we celebrate 24 years on the 30th of September, by the way—and we had our first child by then as well.

So breaking 80 in that short time frame with that much going on was no small feat.

But enough about golf.

What is YOUR form after your sales meeting, prospecting call, networking event, or trade show function?

Do you find yourself grinding your teeth or gripping your steering wheel or yelling at people when stuck in traffic?

Are you losing sleep, losing weight, gaining weight, turning to food or alcohol or drugs at the end of the month or quarter when the sales pressure is on? (Or every night?)

Are you jealous of others in your workplace or even your own family when they win awards or make a big sale or receive accolades in the press or at work?

Do you doubt yourself when you pick up the phone to call a prospect or client and immediately offer a discount or other concession before they even ask?

Do you fly off the handle, jump to conclusions, or jump down someone's throat when the smallest little thing doesn't go your way?

Do you gossip or encourage gossip at work or even with family and friends?

Take a Breath

When you find yourself doing, thinking, or saying things that are incongruent with who you want to be...take a break.



Call timeout on yourself and take a moment to analyze what just triggered that reaction.

See what function caused that bad form in yourself and see if it's a recurring trigger.

See if you're putting yourself into situations that trigger those actions.

Remember, in The Lord's Prayer, Jesus didn't teach us to not sin, He teaches us to "lead us not into temptation."

So if you're struggling to lose weight, don't walk by the ice cream shop.

If you're struggling to stay focused at work, delete Facebook or Pinterest or Instagram from your smartphone.

If you're struggling to hit your sales goals, stay away from the Negative Nancys and the Bad Mouth Bobs and surround yourself with the Positive Pauls and the Producing Priscillas to give yourself a fighting chance.

Like they say in addiction therapy, admitting you have a problem is 50% of the cure.

By admitting you're not living up to your potential and then recognizing what is triggering those unproductive and self-destructive episodes and avoiding those situations altogether will do wonders for your outlook in life and progress toward your goals.

When I first wrote this post I was working on several new programs including

  • The W.E.S. Method
  • The A.B.C.D.E. Sales & Marketing System™
  • The B.E.T.R.™ Prospecting Program
  • The Make Every Sale Community
  • The 30-Day Sales Growth Program

After launching all of those I got tired of maintaining them all on various platforms so I pulled them all into the 30-Day Sales Growth Program and dropped the price 95%.

Become One of The 5

It's now an immersive, experiential program that incorporates live, interactive, group coaching in a private setting to help you identify, overcome, and remove the obstacles that are standing in your way so you can finally achieve what you were put on this earth to do.

When you apply what you learn in the program you'll have much better sales form and much fewer hot spots in your personal and professional life.

And for less than what you pay for your cell phone each month, what have you got to lose?

Now go sell something.